When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
