Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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