Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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