Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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