Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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