If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
