I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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