Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do vagina's smell?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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