Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
