Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
