check it out our google latitudes are spooning
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
