so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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