And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
