i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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