Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
