Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
