The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
there is puke in my bra ... again
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