Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
