OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
