God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
