it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
