I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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