So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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