The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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