so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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