So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
