a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
