Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
