whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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