It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
