I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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