I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
