So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
