We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
