if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It's blow job season.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
