It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
