Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize