The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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