Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
