Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
