I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
