What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
