Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
