Heybabeimwearingurpanties
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize