this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
