I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
