I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
