just tell him i said nine months
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
