At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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