pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
