I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
