I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
