Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
