and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
