Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
