i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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