It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
