wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
