Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
And then my night got REAL pukey
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize