The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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