I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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