Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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