Where is the hickey?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
